i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You pole danced in your parka.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
