Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
