my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
