i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
