awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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