Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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