Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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