You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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