Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
