...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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