Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
