I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
