trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
