He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
