I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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