she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
