just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
