You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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