proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
