I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
