the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
