based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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