I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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