belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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