The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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