but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i came on her dog
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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