Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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