I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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