umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
