btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you didnt know i had herpes?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
