okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
