he shaved USA in his pubs
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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