I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize