By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Slut skills are useful in every country.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
