he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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