Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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