so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
