I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
