I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
