i was born a porn star she said
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
