sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
