update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize