3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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