Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
