Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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