what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
