covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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