Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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