just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
