That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
