ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
