my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
