he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
