OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize