it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
