on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
