No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We talked him into tasing himself.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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