p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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