You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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