you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
