I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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