just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
What changed your mind?
Being sober
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize