So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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