he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
