Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
