I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
