fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
