Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize