we're blogging at a bar
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
