I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize