How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
