I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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