I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
