I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
