Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
