it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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