I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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